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Tuesday, June 26, 2012
Sunday, June 17, 2012
Melon-Head
Last month, I did a post about my marvelous mom in honor of Mother's Day... therefore, it is now time to post about my dynamic dad! Instead of another Top 10 Countdown, this time I've got a questionnaire of sorts for you. All you ever wanted to know, and more, about my father... ENJOY!
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| Family photo from a couple of years ago... Robbin Knight Photography |
Name: Mark Allen McFarland
Aliases: Melon, Melon-Head, Big Daddy
Born: August 8th, 1956 (For those of you who struggle with math, he's almost 56!)
Origin: Dover, Ohio
Parents: Shirley and Bill
Siblings: Willie, Barb, Debbie, and Jebo
Physical description: Blue eyes; 5'10"-ish; fully-bearded; used to be blonde, but now it's pretty much gray... what's left of it anyway.
Favorite movie: I don't actually know his favorite, but he really likes old Westerns. And he used to watch The Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood on TV all the time.
Favorite music: Bob Seger, Johnny Cash, Willie Nelson, Lynard Skynyrd, The Doobie Brothers, Elvis Presley, and all that awesome classic rock/oldies good stuff!
1. What makes your dad happy?
A win by the Browns, Indians, or Buckeyes; riding his motorcycle; visiting the cow farm in Ohio; hunting; rearranging things in his garage; Antiques Roadshow; waking up before the sun
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| At a golf tournament with my uncle and two cousins |
2. How does your dad make you laugh?
By laughing at his own jokes, wearing his “jams,” and botching modern slang/tech lingo (“You should tweeter that on SpaceBook.”)
Driving, reading a map, building things, and singing karaoke (and by “really good” at karaoke, I mean he is painfully entertaining to watch. Emphasis on the pain.)
4. What is your dad not very good at?
Hanging pictures on the wall; going on vacations (unless it's to hunt, fish, or golf); being quiet; picking out his clothes
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| William cheesin' for a photo on Dad's birthday |
5. What is your dad's favorite outfit?
Denim button up shirt and jeans. Denim on denim, baby!6. How are you and your dad the same?
We’re both stubborn, argumentative, loud, have to get the last word, and we like to take naps.
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| Ben & Jerry's Factory in Vermont |
7. How are you and your dad different?
He has a much stronger work ethic than I do, he cries when he's happy/proud/sentimental (I'll bet you 75¢ he cries when he reads this), and I’m a girl.
8. How do you know your dad loves you?
He has always wanted us kids to have more than he could when he was growing up, he coached as many of my sports teams as I would let him, and he (and my mom) stuck it out during some pretty rough times to keep our family together.
9. What does your dad like most about your mom?
I've heard my dad say my mom is the best thing that ever happened to him, and if we're not counting amazing daughters, then I'd have to agree. I'm pretty sure she saved him from being an eternal bachelor and potentially making some really bad decisions. And then obviously, she birthed his three children and provided him with a bonus child. Plus, she's puts up with his nonsense for almost 25 years. Lucky guy, I'd say.
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| This is my all-time favorite photo of my parents. |
"Do as I say, not as I do." "It is what it is." "Damn, hoopies!" "Keep your mouth out of it!" "Because they're boys." "Village Road, let's go!" "Send me a text." "Rub some dirt on it."
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| With Michael at his high school graduation |
11. What was your relationship like with your dad when you were a child?
When I was little, I definitely had my "Daddy's Girl" moments. I liked going to work with him, I would offer to give him neck massages, I joyfully fixed food for him, and I hated for him to go out of town. Every year since I can remember, Big Daddy has gone deer hunting in Ohio for about a week after Thanksgiving. What I remember more than his actual leaving, are the ridiculous crying fits I would have because I didn't want him to go. And then when he would call to check on us, I would beg and plead for him to come home. I also remember a couple elementary school trips that included late night calls to my dad to come get me. (For those of you who don't remember the Mom Blog, I have serious separation anxiety issues... I love my parents. Sue me.)
One of my favorite things my dad and I did when I was little was go on a week-long trip to Ohio, just the two of us. It was the first time I flew on an airplane (that I was old enough to recall) and I loved it. We stayed with his life-long BFF, Uncle Skilet, and his family. We went go-kart racing, ate at a place called The Village, played these really cool pull-tab lottery tickets, rode dirt-bikes (which I crashed a couple times, and now realize was a serious foreshadowing of what a horrible driver I would come to be), and celebrated Uncle Skilet's 40th birthday with a huge party. It was an incredible trip, and it was all about my dad and me.
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| Grammy & Granddad... the people responsible for little Marky's existence. |
Well, well... I definitely would not call myself a Daddy's Girl anymore. It's not that we don't get along, we just have different opinions about most things. As I mentioned before, we are both very stubborn and argumentative. Around the time I reached middle school, I started to become extremely opinionated about pretty much everything. I never really went through the whole "I hate my idiot parents"-phase, but my dad and I have definitely had some battles. It usually starts with him saying something that I find to be incorrect, close-minded, or just plain irritating. And then I decide to jump in and express my thoughts. Well, Melon-Head typically doesn't want to hear my thoughts, especially if they contrast his or aim to prove him wrong. I don'tusuallyset out to be difficult and start a fight, but I HATE when somebody tries to shut me down or refuses to listen to my opinions. So, with neither of us willing to back down, we sometimes end up in a "screaming match," if you will. Then my estrogen-driven emotions take over, I start to cry, and my dad yells more because he doesn't understand why I'm crying. Most of the time, these fights start over nothing of consequence. We just like to argue and hate to lose.
All that being said, I DO love my father. A lot. And now that I don't live at home, we argue a lot less. Or at least it doesn't escalate to me being in a full-blown state of hysteria. Even though I frequently try to prove my independence, I still feel like a kid around my dad. I still ask him for help with any automobile, construction, or sports-related issue. And I know that no matter what, he loves me and will be there for me.13. What makes you proud of your dad?
How hard he works to support his family. Six (sometimes seven) days a week, no matter what is going on, no matter how he is feeling, rain or shine. That man gets up and works. Hard. I'm also really proud of how much he's mellowed over the years.
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| Riding the ferry from Put-in-Bay in Ohio |
Keep your eye on the ball.
Always use the emergency break.
Say "thank you" when somebody hands you a knife or sharp object, so they know you have a hold of it.
How to catch the ball without actually opening the glove, making for a faster play.
Laser pointers do, in fact, cause mental illness in dogs.
Don't wait until the last minute. (This didn't exactly stick.)
Never let the gas tank get below a quarter-tank. (Neither did this one...)
Measure twice, cut once.
Cold pizza is a perfectly acceptable (and delicious) breakfast choice.
You can cure an illness by wearing long-sleeves and pants to bed, trapping yourself under thick blankets, and "sweating it out."
Tighten lug-nuts in an alternating pattern, so the tire goes on straight.
Listening to golf on the radio is just as boring as watching it on TV... now if I could only make him realize this.
How to use a climbing deer stand... on the telephone pole... in our backyard.
Anyone not from the good old US of A = Oriental.
When dealing with Melon, it is important that you are a mind-reader.
If it's not a Harley, it's just a crotch-rocket.
HAPPY FATHER'S DAY, BIG DADDY...
I love you all the way to Michigan and Ohio!!
Sunday, May 13, 2012
Top 10 Reasons I Have The Best Mom Ever
Some would say I have "mommy issues," because I couldn't go away to college and didn't move out until I was 23 (and then refused to move to a different zip code). To that I say,
"Fair enough."
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| High school (or maybe college) graduation |
But my overgrown separation-anxiety stems from how freaking awesome my mom is. She is literally that cool. And so, this blog post is dedicated to sharing with the entire world just how amazing my mother truly is.
Let me start by telling you a little about this phenomenal woman:
- Born in Norfolk, Virginia; September 27, 1952
- Adopted by Lucille and Jacob at 9 nine days old
- Full-name: Marcia "Regina" Craig
- Graduated from Old Dominion University
- Taught elementary school for 15 years
- Met my dad while she was teaching an exercise class (he was looking for girls)
- Children: Jessica (27), Katie (23), William (22), and Michael (21)
- Stayed home with kids for 22 years
- Now
works atruns the show at Target - Refuses to research biological heritage
- Favorite colors: orange and purple (even before we became Clemson fans)
- Cooler than James Dean's leather jacket
Now, when a lot people think of the "cool mom" they think of the "bikini-wearing, let-boys-spend-the-night, make-jello-shots-for-the-teens, flirts-with-her-son's-friends" kind of mom. Sorry to disappoint, but this is NOT my mother. (I think that's actually Stacy's Mom, but you'll have to check with Fountains of Wayne.)
My mom is cool in a much classier way. She is always there for us, makes endless sacrifices, and loves us no matter what. And trust me, we've tested it.
The only way I could think to describe how and why Regina McFarland is the gnarliest mom on the planet is by doing a Letterman-style Countdown. So, here it is...
The Top Ten Reasons I Have the Best Mom Ever.
# 10. Being the ever-so-crafty woman that she is, my mom hand-made all of our costumes when we were little. Halloween, plays, recitals, just for fun. And she even went through a period of blasting out some pretty gangster Puff Paint sweatshirts.
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| Check out that applique clown! |
# 9. She never missed a game, recital, show, party, or event of any kind. I'm really not sure how she did it, considering she was simultaneously running a not-for-profit taxi service for four children.
# 8. This lady refused to spend money on herself until we had everything we needed, and most of what we wanted. In fact, my dad used to get mad because he would give her money to buy herself a new outfit and she'd turn around and get something else for one of the kids.
# 7. She is aging at an amazingly slow rate; physically and mentally. She's going to be 60 years old this year. But you would never know it! (And not because she's a plastic-surgery addicted cougar, because let's get real, they're not fooling anyone.) She stays pretty hip with the latest fashions, but in a completely age-appropriate way. She takes care of her hair and skin. She has worn red-orange lipstick since before I can remember, but that is the only make-up she owns. She knows what's going on with most celebrities, keeps up with a lot of popular music, and isn't completely horrified by the sometimes offensive humor of her children. Rock on.
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| Ignore my overly-excited expression, and look at Mom's cute outfit!! |
# 6. My mom has somehow managed to handle the fears, anxieties, attitudes, outbursts, and personality extremes of four separate children. Plus my dad. And she never even tried to kill anyone. Talk about grace.
# 5. Did I mention that she raised FOUR freaking kids??
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| Michael's high school graduation... we grew up! |
# 4. As a teacher, I really appreciate this one... she never said "ain't." Not once. I don't think some people realize that their language transfers to their children; and thus we are surrounded by generations of foul-mouthed, uneducated-sounding hoopies (as my dad would say). I am so grateful that "ain't" is not in my vocabulary.
# 3. Just like Eric Clapton, Mama Dukes has a got a Rock 'N' Roll heart <3 Thanks to her, my iTunes library is full of such sweetness as The Beatles, The Rolling Stones, Joe Cocker, CCR, The Eagles, Van Morrison, Willie Nelson, Patsy Cline, Elton John, Rod Stewart, Jackson Browne, Marvin Gaye, and many others. I also need to send a shout-out to my dad for introducing me to the likes of Johnny Cash, Bob Seger, Lynard Skynyrd, AC/DC, The Doobie Brothers, Elvis Presley, and Jimmy Buffet. Thanks, Melon-head.
# 2. For almost 22 years, mi madre was a stay-at-home mom. This job title, however, does not express what she really did. My mom gave up an established career, along with most of her social life, to be with her children. She committed her entire existence to caring for and raising her family. Yes, she was a mom who "stayed at home," but she was/is so much more. "Stay-at-home mom" may be the job title, but the job description is a 15-page essay on the greatness of the maternal human that can be summarized in one word: GODDESS.
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| http://weknowmemes.com/2012/02/stay-at-home-mom-what-i-actually-do/ |
**Note: I think that working mothers are just a god-like as those who stay home. To manage a family and a career is outstanding!
And the NUMBER ONE reason I have the BEST MOM EVER...
DESPITE the infant-like meltdowns, secret tattoos, trucks stuck in mud, cars flipped on the interstate, carpets ruined with spaghetti, dozens of ER visits, phone calls in the middle of the night, inconsolable sob-fests, demolished cell phones, holes in doors, f-bombs, outrageous demands, over-priced outfits, combs tangled in hair, broken bones, psychotic breaks, underwhelming report cards, overwhelming anxiety attacks, and all-around chaos that we have all subjected her to over the last 27 years...
Mom loves us each the best!
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| Circa 1991 |
So, as you can see, I really do have the best mom. I expect that you are currently in a raging fit of jealousy, and for that I am sorry. Try not to stress, though. I'm sure your mom is a really neat lady.
HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY, Mama Dukes!! I love you more than cookies and sweet tea!!
Happy Mother's Day to all the other mom's out there! Especially my grandma and grammy, neither of whom will ever see this and wouldn't get it even if they did.
Sunday, April 22, 2012
Proud to be an American
I started this post a few months ago, and got distracted by the "Dabo vs Spurrier" media war. But it is your lucky night, because I am finally finishing it. I came across this article on the Post and Courier website a few weeks before Christmas, and I absolutely could not resist discussing. Well, obviously I resisted for a little while...
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A student at the University of South Carolina Beaufort was told to remove a Confederate flag from his dorm room window. Apparently, parents and students did not like seeing it during campus tours. Like many others, they saw the flag as a symbol of slavery and racism. Byron Thomas, the student in question, sees it differently:
"When I look at this flag, I don't see racism. I see respect, Southern pride," he said. "This flag was seen as a communication symbol" during the Civil War.
THANK YOU, Byron Thomas! I whole-heartedly agree! The Confederate flag did not represent slavery or racism. It did not support discrimination or segregation. Those are some very unfortunate things that happened during this flag's lifetime. However, they did not occur because of the flag and they did not cease when the flag was replaced. In fact, the Civil Rights Movement - the great American effort to eliminate racism, segregation, and discrimination - did not start until approximately 90 years after the collapse of the Confederate States of America (and its flag).
The Confederate flag is a symbol of Southern pride, traditions, states' rights, and rich history. I personally do not choose to display this flag on my property or clothing, mainly because I prefer to fly our current flag and everything it represents. Nonetheless, I find it ridiculous when a proud Southerner is viciously chastised for doing so.
To me, the most powerful part of Byron Thomas's story is his ethnicity. He is black. Yep, black. It was a class project that encouraged him to research the Confederate flag. And through his research, Byron realized that "the flag's real meaning has been hijacked." Byron recognizes that race is still an issue, but he would prefer that people "thoughtfully consider issues of race and not just knee-jerk reactions to such symbols." Again, I am in complete agreement with Mr. Thomas.
Spectacular advancements have been made in the way of racial equality, but there are still issues of discrimination and segregation. I believe many of these issues are prolonged by groups and individuals that insist on bringing "race" into every issue. For example, should Americans be proud that we have a black president? Yes. But should it really matter that he is black? No. Why is a presidential candidate's ethnic race even mentioned? What does skin color have to do with a person's ability to lead a country? Nothing. After the 2008 election, I was personally told by a young, voting adult that he voted for Barack Obama, "because he's black." I'm sorry, but that is just not right. And in my opinion, it is one of the reasons that race is still an on-going issue. It also proves my theory that racism and discrimination are two-way streets. If somebody voted for Obama because he is black, then essentially they did not vote for McCain because he is white. Is that not racism in its truest form? By constantly including race as a factor, we are refusing to let the problem end.
I especially love Byron's statement about not wanting to be called "African American," as he was not born in Africa and it makes him feel like a half-citizen. Byron is no more African than I am Polish or Robert De Niro is Italian. Why do we continue to tip-toe around an issue that is supposed to be resolved? These "politically correct" distinctions, again, only perpetuate the problem. Aren't we all just "AMERICAN"?
I know I've gone off on a few tangents here, but I am really interested in this topic. In fact, the Confederate flag and discrimination have been on my "soap-box" list for a while now. As a teacher, I can honestly say that I want each of my students (all 700+ of them!) to have the same opportunities for happiness and success. And I just don't think this is going to be possible if we keep making issues over silly things like 150-year old flags.
Sunday, February 19, 2012
Friday Funnies... 2 days (and several months) late
I really want to get better at blogging my Friday Funnies, because my students say the most HILARIOUS things! Here are several funnies from the last few weeks...
1) Me: Did you control your voice today?
Boy: I raised my hand!
Me: Yes, but you still have to wait for me to call on you...
2) Doing a 100th day project with some 3rd graders, I tell them they should draw wrinkles on their 100-year-old self-portraits.
Little girl then shouts out: My mom's butt is wrinkly!
Me: Oh my goodness! I'm SURE she doesn't want you to tell people!
Girl: Well, it is!
3) This week, all of my classes learned how Latin Americans celebrate Valentine's Day. This led to SEVERAL comical moments for Señorita!
>> Me: Now, nobody in Kindergarten is worried about that mushy, gushy love stuff, right?
Boy: I am! I have two girlfriends! TWO!
>> Me: Does anybody know what a 'romance langugage' is?
5th grade girl: Texting?
4th grade boy: Sweet talking to your lady? You know, flirting.
>> After showing a clip-art image of two old people hugging to demonstrate the Spanish word for 'hug', a 2nd grade boy realized that the next meant 'kiss' and he announces, "I better not have to see two old people kissing!"
4) I was playing Battleship with an 4th grader (possibly my favorite kid in the whole school) and I realized that she was drawing on the test shield we were using to block our boards from one another. I told her to stop a couple times, but she continued doodling. When it was time to clean up, I looked at the test shield to see what she had drawn, and there among hearts and squiggles were the words, "Your going down baby!"
5) Me: Alright, for this week's game we're playing Cuponk. You pick a "Trick Card," then do that trick to shoot the ping-pong ball into the cup.
5th grade boy: So, we're playing beer pong?
Honestly, I could post this blog every day. :)
Monday, January 2, 2012
Accomplish. Resolve. Adventure.
Yep. Here it is. Your stereotypical New Year's blog. I have a few accomplisments to share from 2011, four official resolutions for the new year, and several adventures I'm looking forward to in 2012!
Accomplishments
- {Moving out of my parents' house} Not long ago, I swore I would never move away from my parents. I wanted to build an apartment on the back of their house to live in with my future husband. BUT, I've grown up (just a bit) and now I live with my sister. She bought an awesome house and offered me a room to rent at a great price.
- {Adopting a puppy} Her name is Penny Lane, she is a one year old white labradoodle, and I am completely smitten! She is adorable and sweet and
mostlywell-behaved and I love her! - {Whitewater rafting} Over the summer, I went to North Carolina with two of my best friends. We went rafting on Section IV of the Chattooga River, and... It. Was. INCREDIBLE! We spent the whole day on the river with our awesome guides, saw some waterfalls, jumped off rocks, and conquered Class III, IV, and V rapids. Easily one of the most extraordinary things I've ever done.
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| Penny Lane's Christmas photo :) That's a Class 5, right there. |
Resolutions
- {Use the word "outrageous" more often} I guess it's because I'm a "language" person, but I love words. I recently realized that I rarely, use the word "outrageous" and I want to do so more often.
- {Stop using my cell phone while I'm driving} I am that horrible person who endangers your life because I just have to respond to a text message... I know it's awful, so I'm going to stop.
- {Exercise two days a week} Two days sounds almost pointless, but I need to start with something attainable. Hopefully, I'll work up to more, but for now I'm only holding myself accountable for two.
- {Eat really healthy two days a week} Every time I try to get on a healthy diet, I get burned out within about a week and give up. So, like exercising, I'm only going to make myself accountable for two days a week.
Adventures
- {Finish my golden year} So far, 23 has been pretty great. And I'm going to make a sincere effort to live up the rest of this golden year! Luckily, I still have about 7 months left to do it!
- {Read the Twilght Saga} I can't believe I'm even announcing this publicly. I was determined not to get caught up in the whole vampire/werewolf nonsense. Alas, I stubbled upon the first Twilight movie on TV a few months ago and I got curious. I've now seen the first three movies and I got the whole book series for Christmas. Ashamed? Incredibly. Excited? Unfortunately.
- {Katie & Luann's Asian Adventure Tour 2012} My friend Luann is about half-way done with a year of teaching in China. When the school year is over for both of us, we're goin' adventurin'! Our tentative schedule includes India, Thailand, Laos, Vietnam, Cambodia, and Indonesia. Besides our major flights, we're not planning much in advance. From what I know, Asia is disturbingly dirty and reeks like your sweaty brother's old gym socks that his pet turtle used as a toilet. It's going to be a grungy, disorganized, smelly, "fly by the seat of your pants" kind of trip, and I am SO OUTRAGEOUSLY STOKED!!
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| Asia: get ready to be ROCKED!! |
Happy New Year!
Keep calm and carry on...
Thursday, December 1, 2011
Keepin' it classy since 1889!
Clemson head coach Dabo Swinney was asked to comment following the Tigers’ Thursday practice for the 2011 ACC Championship, and it was easy to tell that he took offense to Spurrier’s remarks. However, instead of stooping to the level of a chicken and retaliating with his own snide remark, Coach Swinney handled the situation with class and integrity, like a true Clemson Tiger.
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“I heard that. That’s the kind of thing that gets back to you. And I don’t know if he really said it or not, but I guess he did, there’s been no rebuttal. You know if he said that’s disappointing to be honest with you, because I was taught to win or lose with class. That’s kind of a childish thing to put out there. I think our program here speaks for itself. I guess I’d have to say I agree with him. I guess if I had to respond to him I’d say he’s right. They’re not Clemson and they’re never going to be Clemson, to be honest with you.
“And you know what, no three-game winning streak is going to change that,” he said. “It’s not the first time they’ve won three in a row and it won’t be the last time. It might be 50 more years, but it’ll probably happen again. I’ve gone out of my way to be complimentary to them and complimentary to Coach Spurrier, I’ve got a lot of respect for Coach Spurrier. But I’m going to defend my program; I’m going to defend my players, my coaches. I’m going to defend Clemson University because I believe in it. I think he’s exactly right. I think they’re not Clemson and they never will be. You are looking at the best era in the history of South Carolina football right now. They just had their second 10-win season. They won a championship in 1969 and the 2010 SEC East. And this rivalry – you know, there’s a lot of rivalries out there; this is more of a domination, and that’s the fact. My kids, grandkids won’t live long enough to ever see this really become a rivalry. It is what it is.
“I’ve got respect for their program, but South Carolina is not Clemson. There’s a lot of differences. This is a place that’s won a national title, 17 conference championships, two division titles; heck, we’ve won more bowl games than they have even been to. I think our program’s got 100 plus more wins than South Carolina. That’s reality. The best era they’ve had in 115 years of South Carolina football is right now, and they’ve done a great job. I mean a great job. They’ve whipped our butt the last three years; it’s my job to change that.
“Coach Spurrier’s been there seven years, and after five years I think he had 35 wins and a new contract and all that kind of stuff. After five years at Clemson, if I’ve only got 35 wins there’s going to be a new coach here. And you know what, there should be because there’s a different standard. So, he’s exactly right – they ain’t Alabama, they ain’t LSU and they’re certainly not Clemson. That’s why Carolina is in Chapel Hill, USC is in California and THE University in this state always has been, always will be Clemson. And that’s right here in Clemson, South Carolina. You can print that. Tweet that.”
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| 2009 Music City Bowl <http://danonthestreet.com/news/2009/12/28/music-city-swinney/> |
**I typed exactly what Dabo said, word for word, only ommitting a handful of superflous phrases like, "umm, so, and, but, you know, to be honest, etc." I don't think any football coach is known for his eloquent speaking!
**You can watch the video here.
**PLEASE share with any other Clemson fans, or USC fans you are tired of hearing gloat. Consider this the slap in the face we wish we could give them all.
Friday, September 16, 2011
Friday Funny(s)
Happy Friday!
Sorry I've been slack and haven't posted in a while... but I'm back with some funnies :)
3 weeks ago... I was helping in the 3rd grade classroom one afternoon and the kiddos were writing down their homework and getting ready to go home. As I'm walking around, making sure they are writing the correct homework assignments, I notice one little girl has a note on her desk. Taking full advantage of my "teacher rights," I pick up this note to read it. Yes, I was mainly being nosy. And relishing in the fact that I am no longer the student who has her notes intercepted, but the teacher who does the intercepting. And of course making sure it wasn't anything inappropriate that needed to be relayed to the homeroom teacher. So this is what the note says, letter for letter:
"Sorrye. this is the end of our frendshippe."
Turns out, this kid was finally getting a taste of the "mean girl" medicine she's been handing out for the last 2 years. She is famous for telling students who they can and cannot be friends with, and bossing around the other girls. Such drama for 8 year olds! I chastised the author of the note, of course, but sent her a mental high-five for standing up to little bully girl!
2 weeks ago... I was sick with a cold at the end of last week and seriously losing my voice on Friday. My adorable kindergarteners come to Spanish class, and their teacher warns me that they've had a rough morning. I tell them at the beginning of class that they have to be "super extra quiet" so I don't have to yell and lose more of my voice. But telling a 5 year old to be "super extra quiet" is like telling a dog to make you a grilled cheese. So they are starting to get chatty and loud. And I warn them and threaten to call home and I take away "pimientos" (peppers they earn for good behavior; more peppers = better chance at getting a prize). Attempting a light-hearted approach, I tell them they're acting "silly like monkeys." Precious little boy then tells me, "We're not silly monkeys. We're MEAN gorillas! Raaaaawwwwrrrrr!!" I stifle my laugh and try to continue the lesson. Then a few minutes later, same precious boy turns to his still talking classmates and with the most serious and exasperated expression says,
"Guys! You have to be quiet! If she has to yell at us she's going to lose the rest of her voice and she won't be able to talk any more!"
This week... One of my fourth-graders has started calling my "Grandma." I have no idea what possessed him to give me this nickname, especially since I am the youngest teacher in the school. However, for the last 2 days, he gives me a "Hi, Grandma!" every time he sees me. Every. Single. Time. I'm working on at least getting him to say it in Spanish...
Friday, August 26, 2011
Friday Funny
Teaching produces a lot of hilarious moments. Therefore, every week I'll try to share with y'all a "Friday Funny." Enjoy the preciousness of my kiddos :)
Soooo... Things are getting a little chaotic as I try to wrap up my kindergarten Spanish lesson. The kids are excited because it's a half day (Thank you, Irene!) and I'm trying to think about the most efficient way to get 16 five-year olds out to their busses in the rain. All of the sudden, one little boy (who happens to be one of my favorite kids to ever exist, because he's so freaking cute and hilarious) shoots his hand in the air and says he left the water running in the bathroom. So, I tell him to walk next door and turn off the water. A few minutes later, he returns and I ask, "Well, did you turn off the water?" And to this, my precious, precocious, kindergarten student responds...
"The water wasn't on. It was just the rain."
Thats' right, he heard the rain and thought he left the water running. I die.
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| I'd probably lose my job if I posted a real photo, but this kid from Microsoft Images is pretty cute too. |
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
Pining for positivity
piningpresent participle of pine (Verb)1. Suffer a mental and physical decline, esp. because of a broken heart.
2. Miss and long for the return of.
Merriam-Webster
Well, I don't have a broken heart, but lately I have been "pining." The part about "suffering a mental decline" definitely applies to me. I've just kind of been in a funk for the last week or two. There are several contributing factors to my funk, but the details aren't really important. Anyone who knows me will agree that I do not handle change very well. Sure, I like to change outfits, genres of music, earrings and nail polish. But when it comes to big changes, changes in my routine or lifestyle, I have a tendency to... freak the freak out.
2) I recently acquired some FABULOUS new sunglasses :)
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| ** Sunglasses from Target ** |
3) I have a great J-O-B! Not only is it a lot of fun to be an elementary school Spanish teacher, but I feel so blessed to have a stable job in a time when they are so scarce.
4) CHEAP rent... my big sister has been generous enough let me live in the awesome house she just bought and charge me a very reasonable rent.
5) Super CUTE bedding, to go in my new room at my new house!
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| ** The Company Store - Peyton quilt ** |
6) FANTASTIC friends... I have three very close friends that I can always count on for support, companionship and LOADS of laughter.
7) I also have a six-year BFF... It sounds a little creepy, but she is my favorite kid in the world. This chick knows how to push my buttons and melt my heart, all within about 3 minutes. :)
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| ** Did you just die a little? ** |
8) AMAZING family! We may not always get along (heck, I wouldn't even say that we usually get along), but I am definitely the quintessential "family girl." My family will always be the most important part of my life.
Saturday, July 30, 2011
Yard Sales and Lucille...
Disclaimer: I realize that my posts are a rather long. I am trying to improve this, but I'm just a wordy person. Bear with me. This one is worth it.
- My grandparents began the adoption process looking for a little boy. But the agent called one day and said there was a brand-new baby girl they could have. Lucy said, "Umm... alright," and Mama Dukes was delivered that day. When Granddaddy got home from work, Grandma asked him how he'd feel about a girl. Luckily, he was also okay with a female child. Lucille then sent her husband into the bedroom, where she had left baby girl peacefully resting in a dresser drawer.
- Baby girl was a bit pallid, which Lucy didn't like, so she laid the naked babe in the window sill to give her a little tan.
- Grandma also prefers to be naked herself. Unfortunately for my now singed retinas, I have walked into her apartment to find her sitting in the recliner completely buck-naked.
- Once, when I was a 14 year old freshman in high school, she picked me up from school. But seeing as I was 5 months from taking the written part of the driving test (that would enable me to start driving with an experienced adult), Lucille decided it was time for me to practice. Never in my life had I been behind the steering wheel of a car, other than sitting in my dad's lap and "driving" around the block. This minor detail didn't matter, it was time to get some experience. So she forced me in the driver's seat and off I drove. I stopped after about 10 minutes, refusing to drive on the busy highway. But when we were near my house, she insisted I finish the drive. When my mom asked what she would have done if I'd been stopped by the police and had no license to produce, Lucille's response was, "I wrote a note to show the police officer explaining that I gave her permission to drive my car." Well, as long as you have a note.
- She once took a fuzzy purple bathrobe, which she picked out of someone's trash pile on the side of the road, to keep her warm at the circus. Enough said.
Now that you have a better idea of who Lucy is, I'll get back to this morning's shenanigans. Grandma has a lot of crap. (Which I understand is not uncommon for old people.) My mom has been after her for years to get rid of the junk she doesn't use, but (again, like the rest of the gray-haired population) she is thinks she will one day need it. Even that spoonful of peas she wrapped in aluminum foil and shoved in the back of the freezer. And heaven-forbid if something of hers was to be discarded, because a nuclear war would certainly ensue, rendering her helpless and hungry without her peas. Thankfully, Grandma recently starting cleaning out her apartment. But she couldn't just accept that a hairdryer from 1992, cassette tapes and a fake cactus plant were all completely useless. No. These are valuable goods that somebody will surely want.
So what does Crazy Lucy do? She plans a yard sale that my mother and I will help her operate. At 8 o'clock this morning, we dragged three shopping carts worth of "goods" across the street to set up shop on two card tables and two sheets on the ground. Not only were we selling crap, but her apartment complex was having a huge yard sale across the street. Why couldn't Grandma donate her junk to them? Because it would be insane to let somebody else profit from her treasures. Therefore, we sat out in the blistering heat for about 2 hours with maybe 20 customers total. Several of which she ran off with her stubborn overpricing. (Clearly the computer microphone, which she probably doesn't even know it is because her only knowledge of computers is that they exist, was worth 50 cents. How dare the guy try to bargain her down to a mere quarter!) Let's just say, it took 2 pints of sweat and 3 hours of my life that I'll never get back.
Mama Dukes and I complained the whole time, but I guess it was nice to help my grandma with something she really wanted to do. Also, she gave me the money we earned to help with my move in a few weeks. I would have much preferred to sleep in, but I got $21 and a Designing Women DVD. And I suppose the satisfaction of knowing that I increased my lead in the "Lucille's favorite grandchild" race. (Although, to be honest, it's never really been much of a competition.)
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| Yes, that is a fanny pack around G-mama's waste. |
PS - If you're in the market for any crap that is positively useless, Lucy still has a trunk full of items she won't part with unless appropriately compensated.
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