Friday Funnies... 2 days (and several months) late

I really want to get better at blogging my Friday Funnies, because my students say the most HILARIOUS things!  Here are several funnies from the last few weeks...

1)  Me: Did you control your voice today?

     Boy: I raised my hand!

     Me: Yes, but you still have to wait for me to call on you...

2)  Doing a 100th day project with some 3rd graders, I tell them they should draw wrinkles on their 100-year-old self-portraits.  

    Little girl then shouts out: My mom's butt is wrinkly! 

    Me: Oh my goodness! I'm SURE she doesn't want you to tell people!

    Girl: Well, it is!

3)  This week, all of my classes learned how Latin Americans celebrate Valentine's Day.  This led to SEVERAL comical moments for Señorita!

     >> Me: Now, nobody in Kindergarten is worried about that mushy, gushy love stuff, right?

          Boy: I am! I have two girlfriends! TWO!

     >> Me: Does anybody know what a 'romance langugage' is?

         5th grade girl: Texting?

         4th grade boy: Sweet talking to your lady? You know, flirting.

     >> After showing a clip-art image of two old people hugging to demonstrate the    Spanish word for 'hug', a 2nd grade boy realized that the next meant 'kiss' and he announces, "I better not have to see two old people kissing!"

4)  I was playing Battleship with an 4th grader (possibly my favorite kid in the whole school) and I realized that she was drawing on the test shield we were using to block our boards from one another.  I told her to stop a couple times, but she continued doodling.  When it was time to clean up, I looked at the test shield to see what she had drawn, and there among hearts and squiggles were the words, "Your going down baby!"

5)  Me: Alright, for this week's game we're playing Cuponk.  You pick a "Trick Card," then do that trick to shoot the ping-pong ball into the cup.

    5th grade boy: So, we're playing beer pong?

 Honestly, I could post this blog every day.  :)

Friday Funny(s)

Happy Friday!

Sorry I've been slack and haven't posted in a while... but I'm back with some funnies  :)

3 weeks ago... I was helping in the 3rd grade classroom one afternoon and the kiddos were writing down their homework and getting ready to go home.  As I'm walking around, making sure they are writing the correct homework assignments, I notice one little girl has a note on her desk.  Taking full advantage of my "teacher rights," I pick up this note to read it.  Yes, I was mainly being nosy.  And relishing in the fact that I am no longer the student who has her notes intercepted, but the teacher who does the intercepting.  And of course making sure it wasn't anything inappropriate that needed to be relayed to the homeroom teacher.  So this is what the note says, letter for letter: 

"Sorrye. this is the end of our frendshippe."  

Turns out, this kid was finally getting a taste of the "mean girl" medicine she's been handing out for the last 2 years.  She is famous for telling students who they can and cannot be friends with, and bossing around the other girls.  Such drama for 8 year olds!  I chastised the author of the note, of course, but sent her a mental high-five for standing up to little bully girl!

2 weeks ago... I was sick with a cold at the end of last week and seriously losing my voice on Friday.  My adorable kindergarteners come to Spanish class, and their teacher warns me that they've had a rough morning.  I tell them at the beginning of class that they have to be "super extra quiet" so I don't have to yell and lose more of my voice.  But telling a 5 year old to be "super extra quiet" is like telling a dog to make you a grilled cheese.  So they are starting to get chatty and loud.  And I warn them and threaten to call home and I take away "pimientos" (peppers they earn for good behavior; more peppers = better chance at getting a prize).  Attempting a light-hearted approach, I tell them they're acting "silly like monkeys."  Precious little boy then tells me, "We're not silly monkeys.  We're MEAN gorillas!  Raaaaawwwwrrrrr!!"  I stifle my laugh and try to continue the lesson.  Then a few minutes later, same precious boy turns to his still talking classmates and with the most serious and exasperated expression says, 

"Guys!  You have to be quiet!  If she has to yell at us she's going to lose the rest of her voice and she won't be able to talk any more!"

This week... One of my fourth-graders has started calling my "Grandma."  I have no idea what possessed him to give me this nickname, especially since I am the youngest teacher in the school.  However, for the last 2 days, he gives me a "Hi, Grandma!" every time he sees me.  Every. Single. Time.  I'm working on at least getting him to say it in Spanish...

Friday Funny

Teaching produces a lot of hilarious moments.  Therefore, every week I'll try to share with y'all a "Friday Funny."  Enjoy the preciousness of my kiddos :)

Soooo... Things are getting a little chaotic as I try to wrap up my kindergarten Spanish lesson.  The kids are excited because it's a half day (Thank you, Irene!) and I'm trying to think about the most efficient way to get 16 five-year olds out to their busses in the rain.  All of the sudden, one little boy (who happens to be one of my favorite kids to ever exist, because he's so freaking cute and hilarious) shoots his hand in the air and says he left the water running in the bathroom.  So, I tell him to walk next door and turn off the water.  A few minutes later, he returns and I ask, "Well, did you turn off the water?"  And to this, my precious, precocious, kindergarten student responds...

"The water wasn't on.  It was just the rain."

Thats' right, he heard the rain and thought he left the water running.  I die.

I'd probably lose my job if I posted a real photo, but this kid from Microsoft Images is pretty cute too.