Friday Funnies... 2 days (and several months) late

I really want to get better at blogging my Friday Funnies, because my students say the most HILARIOUS things!  Here are several funnies from the last few weeks...

1)  Me: Did you control your voice today?

     Boy: I raised my hand!

     Me: Yes, but you still have to wait for me to call on you...

2)  Doing a 100th day project with some 3rd graders, I tell them they should draw wrinkles on their 100-year-old self-portraits.  

    Little girl then shouts out: My mom's butt is wrinkly! 

    Me: Oh my goodness! I'm SURE she doesn't want you to tell people!

    Girl: Well, it is!

3)  This week, all of my classes learned how Latin Americans celebrate Valentine's Day.  This led to SEVERAL comical moments for Señorita!

     >> Me: Now, nobody in Kindergarten is worried about that mushy, gushy love stuff, right?

          Boy: I am! I have two girlfriends! TWO!

     >> Me: Does anybody know what a 'romance langugage' is?

         5th grade girl: Texting?

         4th grade boy: Sweet talking to your lady? You know, flirting.

     >> After showing a clip-art image of two old people hugging to demonstrate the    Spanish word for 'hug', a 2nd grade boy realized that the next meant 'kiss' and he announces, "I better not have to see two old people kissing!"

4)  I was playing Battleship with an 4th grader (possibly my favorite kid in the whole school) and I realized that she was drawing on the test shield we were using to block our boards from one another.  I told her to stop a couple times, but she continued doodling.  When it was time to clean up, I looked at the test shield to see what she had drawn, and there among hearts and squiggles were the words, "Your going down baby!"

5)  Me: Alright, for this week's game we're playing Cuponk.  You pick a "Trick Card," then do that trick to shoot the ping-pong ball into the cup.

    5th grade boy: So, we're playing beer pong?

 Honestly, I could post this blog every day.  :)

Accomplish. Resolve. Adventure.

     Yep.  Here it is.  Your stereotypical New Year's blog.  I have a few accomplisments to share from 2011, four official resolutions for the new year, and several adventures I'm looking forward to in 2012!

Accomplishments

1. {Moving out of my parents' house}  Not long ago, I swore I would never move away from my parents.  I wanted to build an apartment on the back of their house to live in with my future husband.  BUT, I've grown up (just a bit) and now I live with my sister.  She bought an awesome house and offered me a room to rent at a great price.  
2. {Adopting a puppy}  Her name is Penny Lane, she is a one year old white labradoodle, and I am completely smitten!  She is adorable and sweet and mostly well-behaved and I love her!
3. {Whitewater rafting}  Over the summer, I went to North Carolina with two of my best friends.  We went rafting on Section IV of the Chattooga River, and...  It. Was. INCREDIBLE!  We spent the whole day on the river with our awesome guides, saw some waterfalls, jumped off rocks, and conquered Class III, IV, and V rapids. Easily one of the most extraordinary things I've ever done.

           

Penny Lane's Christmas photo :)                   That's a Class 5, right there.

Resolutions

1. {Use the word "outrageous" more often}  I guess it's because I'm a "language" person, but I love words.  I recently realized that I rarely, use the word "outrageous" and I want to do so more often.
2. {Stop using my cell phone while I'm driving}  I am that horrible person who endangers your life because I just have to respond to a text message...  I know it's awful, so I'm going to stop.
3. {Exercise two days a week}  Two days sounds almost pointless, but I need to start with something attainable.  Hopefully, I'll work up to more, but for now I'm only holding myself accountable for two.
4. {Eat really healthy two days a week}  Every time I try to get on a healthy diet, I get burned out within about a week and give up.  So, like exercising, I'm only going to make myself accountable for two days a week.

Adventures

1. {Finish my golden year}  So far, 23 has been pretty great.  And I'm going to make a sincere effort to live up the rest of this golden year!  Luckily, I still have about 7 months left to do it! 
2. {Read the Twilght Saga}  I can't believe I'm even announcing this publicly. I was determined not to get caught up in the whole vampire/werewolf nonsense. Alas, I stubbled upon the first Twilight movie on TV a few months ago and I got curious.  I've now seen the first three movies and I got the whole book series for Christmas. Ashamed? Incredibly. Excited? Unfortunately.
3. {Katie & Luann's Asian Adventure Tour 2012}  My friend Luann is about half-way done with a year of teaching in China. When the school year is over for both of us, we're goin' adventurin'!  Our tentative schedule includes India, Thailand, Laos, Vietnam, Cambodia, and Indonesia.  Besides our major flights, we're not planning much in advance.  From what I know, Asia is disturbingly dirty and reeks like your sweaty brother's old gym socks that his pet turtle used as a toilet. It's going to be a grungy, disorganized, smelly, "fly by the seat of your pants" kind of trip, and I am SO OUTRAGEOUSLY STOKED!!

Asia: get ready to be ROCKED!!

Happy New Year!

Keep calm and carry on...

Keepin' it classy since 1889!

Several news agencies have reported that the South Carolina head coach, Steve Spurrier, was asked about the status of his program following the Gamecocks’ 34-13 win over Clemson, and he said, “We ain’t LSU or Alabama, but we ain’t Clemson either.”

Clemson head coach Dabo Swinney was asked to comment following the Tigers’ Thursday practice for the 2011 ACC Championship, and it was easy to tell that he took offense to Spurrier’s remarks.  However, instead of stooping to the level of a chicken and retaliating with his own snide remark, Coach Swinney handled the situation with class and integrity, like a true Clemson Tiger.

 ---------------------------------------------

“I heard that. That’s the kind of thing that gets back to you.  And I don’t know if he really said it or not, but I guess he did, there’s been no rebuttal.  You know if he said that’s disappointing to be honest with you, because I was taught to win or lose with class.  That’s kind of a childish thing to put out there. I think our program here speaks for itself. I guess I’d have to say I agree with him. I guess if I had to respond to him I’d say he’s right. They’re not Clemson and they’re never going to be Clemson, to be honest with you.

“And you know what, no three-game winning streak is going to change that,” he said. “It’s not the first time they’ve won three in a row and it won’t be the last time.  It might be 50 more years, but it’ll probably happen again. I’ve gone out of my way to be complimentary to them and complimentary to Coach Spurrier, I’ve got a lot of respect for Coach Spurrier.  But I’m going to defend my program; I’m going to defend my players, my coaches. I’m going to defend Clemson University because I believe in it. I think he’s exactly right. I think they’re not Clemson and they never will be. You are looking at the best era in the history of South Carolina football right now. They just had their second 10-win season. They won a championship in 1969 and the 2010 SEC East. And this rivalry – you know, there’s a lot of rivalries out there; this is more of a domination, and that’s the fact. My kids, grandkids won’t live long enough to ever see this really become a rivalry. It is what it is.

“I’ve got respect for their program, but South Carolina is not Clemson. There’s a lot of differences. This is a place that’s won a national title, 17 conference championships, two division titles; heck, we’ve won more bowl games than they have even been to. I think our program’s got 100 plus more wins than South Carolina. That’s reality. The best era they’ve had in 115 years of South Carolina football is right now, and they’ve done a great job. I mean a great job. They’ve whipped our butt the last three years; it’s my job to change that.

“Coach Spurrier’s been there seven years, and after five years I think he had 35 wins and a new contract and all that kind of stuff.  After five years at Clemson, if I’ve only got 35 wins there’s going to be a new coach here.  And you know what, there should be because there’s a different standard. So, he’s exactly right – they ain’t Alabama, they ain’t LSU and they’re certainly not Clemson.  That’s why Carolina is in Chapel Hill, USC is in California and THE University in this state always has been, always will be Clemson. And that’s right here in Clemson, South Carolina. You can print that. Tweet that.”

2009 Music City Bowl 
<http://danonthestreet.com/news/2009/12/28/music-city-swinney/> 

**I typed exactly what Dabo said, word for word, only ommitting a handful of superflous phrases like, "umm, so, and, but, you know, to be honest, etc."  I don't think any football coach is known for his eloquent speaking!

**You can watch the video here.

**PLEASE share with any other Clemson fans, or USC fans you are tired of hearing gloat.  Consider this the slap in the face we wish we could give them all.

Friday Funny(s)

Happy Friday!

Sorry I've been slack and haven't posted in a while... but I'm back with some funnies  :)

3 weeks ago... I was helping in the 3rd grade classroom one afternoon and the kiddos were writing down their homework and getting ready to go home.  As I'm walking around, making sure they are writing the correct homework assignments, I notice one little girl has a note on her desk.  Taking full advantage of my "teacher rights," I pick up this note to read it.  Yes, I was mainly being nosy.  And relishing in the fact that I am no longer the student who has her notes intercepted, but the teacher who does the intercepting.  And of course making sure it wasn't anything inappropriate that needed to be relayed to the homeroom teacher.  So this is what the note says, letter for letter: 

"Sorrye. this is the end of our frendshippe."  

Turns out, this kid was finally getting a taste of the "mean girl" medicine she's been handing out for the last 2 years.  She is famous for telling students who they can and cannot be friends with, and bossing around the other girls.  Such drama for 8 year olds!  I chastised the author of the note, of course, but sent her a mental high-five for standing up to little bully girl!

2 weeks ago... I was sick with a cold at the end of last week and seriously losing my voice on Friday.  My adorable kindergarteners come to Spanish class, and their teacher warns me that they've had a rough morning.  I tell them at the beginning of class that they have to be "super extra quiet" so I don't have to yell and lose more of my voice.  But telling a 5 year old to be "super extra quiet" is like telling a dog to make you a grilled cheese.  So they are starting to get chatty and loud.  And I warn them and threaten to call home and I take away "pimientos" (peppers they earn for good behavior; more peppers = better chance at getting a prize).  Attempting a light-hearted approach, I tell them they're acting "silly like monkeys."  Precious little boy then tells me, "We're not silly monkeys.  We're MEAN gorillas!  Raaaaawwwwrrrrr!!"  I stifle my laugh and try to continue the lesson.  Then a few minutes later, same precious boy turns to his still talking classmates and with the most serious and exasperated expression says, 

"Guys!  You have to be quiet!  If she has to yell at us she's going to lose the rest of her voice and she won't be able to talk any more!"

This week... One of my fourth-graders has started calling my "Grandma."  I have no idea what possessed him to give me this nickname, especially since I am the youngest teacher in the school.  However, for the last 2 days, he gives me a "Hi, Grandma!" every time he sees me.  Every. Single. Time.  I'm working on at least getting him to say it in Spanish...