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Melon-Head

Last month, I did a post about my marvelous mom in honor of Mother's Day... therefore, it is now time to post about my dynamic dad! Instead of another Top 10 Countdown, this time I've got a questionnaire of sorts for you.  All you ever wanted to know, and more, about my father... ENJOY!

Family photo from a couple of years ago... Robbin Knight Photography

Name: Mark Allen McFarland 

Aliases: Melon, Melon-Head, Big Daddy

Born: August 8th, 1956 (For those of you who struggle with math, he's almost 56!)

Origin: Dover, Ohio

Parents: Shirley and Bill

Siblings: Willie, Barb, Debbie, and Jebo

Physical description: Blue eyes; 5'10"-ish; fully-bearded; used to be blonde, but now it's pretty much gray... what's left of it anyway.

Favorite movie: I don't actually know his favorite, but he really likes old Westerns.  And he used to watch The Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood on TV all the time.

Favorite music: Bob Seger, Johnny Cash, Willie Nelson, Lynard Skynyrd, The Doobie Brothers, Elvis Presley, and all that awesome classic rock/oldies good stuff! 

1. What makes your dad happy?

A win by the Browns, Indians, or Buckeyes; riding his motorcycle; visiting the cow farm in Ohio; hunting; rearranging things in his garage; Antiques Roadshow; waking up before the sun

At a golf tournament with my uncle and two cousins

2. How does your dad make you laugh?

By laughing at his own jokes, wearing his “jams,” and botching modern slang/tech lingo (“You should tweeter that on SpaceBook.”)

3. What is your dad really good at?

Driving, reading a map, building things, and singing karaoke (and by “really good” at karaoke, I mean he is painfully entertaining to watch. Emphasis on the pain.)

4. What is your dad not very good at?

Hanging pictures on the wall; going on vacations (unless it's to hunt, fish, or golf); being quiet; picking out his clothes

William cheesin' for a photo on Dad's birthday

5. What is your dad's favorite outfit?

Denim button up shirt and jeans. Denim on denim, baby!

6. How are you and your dad the same?

We’re both stubborn, argumentative, loud, have to get the last word, and we like to take naps.

Ben & Jerry's Factory in Vermont

7. How are you and your dad different?

He has a much stronger work ethic than I do, he cries when he's happy/proud/sentimental (I'll bet you 75¢ he cries when he reads this), and I’m a girl.

8. How do you know your dad loves you?

He has always wanted us kids to have more than he could when he was growing up, he coached as many of my sports teams as I would let him, and he (and my mom) stuck it out during some pretty rough times to keep our family together.

9. What does your dad like most about your mom?

I've heard my dad say my mom is the best thing that ever happened to him, and if we're not counting amazing daughters, then I'd have to agree.  I'm pretty sure she saved him from being an eternal bachelor and potentially making some really bad decisions.  And then obviously, she birthed his three children and provided him with a bonus child. Plus, she's puts up with his nonsense for almost 25 years.  Lucky guy, I'd say.

This is my all-time favorite photo of my parents.

10. What is something your dad always says?

"Do as I say, not as I do." "It is what it is." "Damn, hoopies!" "Keep your mouth out of it!" "Because they're boys." "Village Road, let's go!" "Send me a text." "Rub some dirt on it."

With Michael at his high school graduation

11. What was your relationship like with your dad when you were a child?

When I was little, I definitely had my "Daddy's Girl" moments.  I liked going to work with him, I would offer to give him neck massages, I joyfully fixed food for him, and I hated for him to go out of town. Every year since I can remember, Big Daddy has gone deer hunting in Ohio for about a week after Thanksgiving.  What I remember more than his actual leaving, are the ridiculous crying fits I would have because I didn't want him to go.  And then when he would call to check on us, I would beg and plead for him to come home.  I also remember a couple elementary school trips that included late night calls to my dad to come get me.  (For those of you who don't remember the Mom Blog, I have serious separation anxiety issues... I love my parents. Sue me.)  

One of my favorite things my dad and I did when I was little was go on a week-long trip to Ohio, just the two of us.  It was the first time I flew on an airplane (that I was old enough to recall) and I loved it.  We stayed with his life-long BFF, Uncle Skilet, and his family.  We went go-kart racing, ate at a place called The Village, played these really cool pull-tab lottery tickets, rode dirt-bikes (which I crashed a couple times, and now realize was a serious foreshadowing of what a horrible driver I would come to be), and celebrated Uncle Skilet's 40th birthday with a huge party.  It was an incredible trip, and it was all about my dad and me.

Grammy & Granddad... the people responsible for little Marky's existence.

12. What is your relationship like with your dad now?

Well, well... I definitely would not call myself a Daddy's Girl anymore.  It's not that we don't get along, we just have different opinions about most things.  As I mentioned before, we are both very stubborn and argumentative.  Around the time I reached middle school, I started to become extremely opinionated about pretty much everything.  I never really went through the whole "I hate my idiot parents"-phase, but my dad and I have definitely had some battles.  It usually starts with him saying something that I find to be incorrect, close-minded, or just plain irritating.  And then I decide to jump in and express my thoughts.  Well, Melon-Head typically doesn't want to hear my thoughts, especially if they contrast his or aim to prove him wrong.  I don't usually set out to be difficult and start a fight, but I HATE when somebody tries to shut me down or refuses to listen to my opinions.  So, with neither of us willing to back down, we sometimes end up in a "screaming match," if you will. Then my estrogen-driven emotions take over, I start to cry, and my dad yells more because he doesn't understand why I'm crying.  Most of the time, these fights start over nothing of consequence.  We just like to argue and hate to lose.

All that being said, I DO love my father.  A lot.  And now that I don't live at home, we argue a lot less.  Or at least it doesn't escalate to me being in a full-blown state of hysteria.  Even though I frequently try to prove my independence, I still feel like a kid around my dad.  I still ask him for help with any automobile, construction, or sports-related issue.  And I know that no matter what, he loves me and will be there for me.

 13. What makes you proud of your dad?

How hard he works to support his family. Six (sometimes seven) days a week, no matter what is going on, no matter how he is feeling, rain or shine.  That man gets up and works. Hard. I'm also really proud of how much he's mellowed over the years.

Riding the ferry from Put-in-Bay in Ohio 

14. What have you learned from your dad over the years?

Keep your eye on the ball.  

Always use the emergency break.

Say "thank you" when somebody hands you a knife or sharp object, so they know you have a hold of it.  

How to catch the ball without actually opening the glove, making for a faster play. 

Laser pointers do, in fact, cause mental illness in dogs. 

Don't wait until the last minute. (This didn't exactly stick.)

Never let the gas tank get below a quarter-tank. (Neither did this one...) 

Measure twice, cut once. 

Cold pizza is a perfectly acceptable (and delicious) breakfast choice. 

You can cure an illness by wearing long-sleeves and pants to bed, trapping yourself under thick blankets, and "sweating it out." 

Tighten lug-nuts in an alternating pattern, so the tire goes on straight.

Listening to golf on the radio is just as boring as watching it on TV... now if I could only make him realize this.

How to use a climbing deer stand... on the telephone pole... in our backyard.

Anyone not from the good old US of A = Oriental. 

When dealing with Melon, it is important that you are a mind-reader.

If it's not a Harley, it's just a crotch-rocket.

 HAPPY FATHER'S DAY, BIG DADDY...  
I love you all the way to Michigan and Ohio!!

Top 10 Reasons I Have The Best Mom Ever

Some would say I have "mommy issues," because I couldn't go away to college and didn't move out until I was 23 (and then refused to move to a different zip code).  To that I say, 

"Fair enough."

High school (or maybe college) graduation

But my overgrown separation-anxiety stems from how freaking awesome my mom is.  She is literally that cool.  And so, this blog post is dedicated to sharing with the entire world just how amazing my mother truly is.

Let me start by telling you a little about this phenomenal woman:

• Born in Norfolk, Virginia; September 27, 1952
• Adopted by Lucille and Jacob at 9 nine days old
• Full-name: Marcia "Regina" Craig
• Graduated from Old Dominion University
• Taught elementary school for 15 years
• Met my dad while she was teaching an exercise class (he was looking for girls)
• Children: Jessica (27), Katie (23), William (22), and Michael (21)
• Stayed home with kids for 22 years
• Now works at runs the show at Target
• Refuses to research biological heritage
• Favorite colors: orange and purple (even before we became Clemson fans)
• Cooler than James Dean's leather jacket

Now, when a lot people think of the "cool mom" they think of the "bikini-wearing, let-boys-spend-the-night, make-jello-shots-for-the-teens, flirts-with-her-son's-friends" kind of mom.  Sorry to disappoint, but this is NOT my mother.  (I think that's actually Stacy's Mom, but you'll have to check with Fountains of Wayne.)

My mom is cool in a much classier way.  She is always there for us, makes endless sacrifices, and loves us no matter what.  And trust me, we've tested it.  

The only way I could think to describe how and why Regina McFarland is the gnarliest mom on the planet is by doing a Letterman-style Countdown.  So, here it is...

The Top Ten Reasons I Have the Best Mom Ever.

# 10. Being the ever-so-crafty woman that she is, my mom hand-made all of our costumes when we were little. Halloween, plays, recitals, just for fun.  And she even went through a period of blasting out some pretty gangster Puff Paint sweatshirts.

Check out that applique clown!

# 9. She never missed a game, recital, show, party, or event of any kind.  I'm really not sure how she did it, considering she was simultaneously running a not-for-profit taxi service for four children.

# 8. This lady refused to spend money on herself until we had everything we needed, and most of what we wanted.  In fact, my dad used to get mad because he would give her money to buy herself a new outfit and she'd turn around and get something else for one of the kids.

# 7. She is aging at an amazingly slow rate; physically and mentally.  She's going to be 60 years old this year.  But you would never know it!  (And not because she's a plastic-surgery addicted cougar, because let's get real, they're not fooling anyone.)  She stays pretty hip with the latest fashions, but in a completely age-appropriate way.  She takes care of her hair and skin. She has worn red-orange lipstick since before I can remember, but that is the only make-up she owns.  She knows what's going on with most celebrities, keeps up with a lot of popular music, and isn't completely horrified by the sometimes offensive humor of her children. Rock on.

Ignore my overly-excited expression, and look at Mom's cute outfit!!

# 6. My mom has somehow managed to handle the fears, anxieties, attitudes, outbursts, and personality extremes of four separate children.  Plus my dad.  And she never even tried to kill anyone.  Talk about grace.

# 5. Did I mention that she raised FOUR freaking kids??

Michael's high school graduation... we grew up!

# 4. As a teacher, I really appreciate this one... she never said "ain't."  Not once.  I don't think some people realize that their language transfers to their children; and thus we are surrounded by generations of foul-mouthed, uneducated-sounding hoopies (as my dad would say).  I am so grateful that "ain't" is not in my vocabulary.

# 3. Just like Eric Clapton, Mama Dukes has a got a Rock 'N' Roll heart <3  Thanks to her, my iTunes library is full of such sweetness as The Beatles, The Rolling Stones, Joe Cocker, CCR, The Eagles, Van Morrison, Willie Nelson, Patsy Cline, Elton John, Rod Stewart, Jackson Browne, Marvin Gaye, and many others. I also need to send a shout-out to my dad for introducing me to the likes of Johnny Cash, Bob Seger, Lynard Skynyrd, AC/DC, The Doobie Brothers, Elvis Presley, and Jimmy Buffet. Thanks, Melon-head.

# 2. For almost 22 years, mi madre was a stay-at-home mom.  This job title, however, does not express what she really did.  My mom gave up an established career, along with most of her social life, to be with her children.  She committed her entire existence to caring for and raising her family.  Yes, she was a mom who "stayed at home," but she was/is so much more. "Stay-at-home mom" may be the job title, but the job description is a 15-page essay on the greatness of the maternal human that can be summarized in one word: GODDESS.

http://weknowmemes.com/2012/02/stay-at-home-mom-what-i-actually-do/

**Note: I think that working mothers are just a god-like as those who stay home.  To manage a family and a career is outstanding! 

And the NUMBER ONE reason I have the BEST MOM EVER...

DESPITE the infant-like meltdowns, secret tattoos, trucks stuck in mud, cars flipped on the interstate, carpets ruined with spaghetti, dozens of ER visits, phone calls in the middle of the night, inconsolable sob-fests, demolished cell phones, holes in doors, f-bombs, outrageous demands, over-priced outfits, combs tangled in hair, broken bones, psychotic breaks, underwhelming report cards, overwhelming anxiety attacks, and all-around chaos that we have all subjected her to over the last 27 years...

Mom loves us each the best!

Circa 1991

So, as you can see, I really do have the best mom.  I expect that you are currently in a raging fit of jealousy, and for that I am sorry.  Try not to stress, though.  I'm sure your mom is a really neat lady.

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY, Mama Dukes!!  I love you more than cookies and sweet tea!!

Happy Mother's Day to all the other mom's out there!  Especially my grandma and grammy, neither of whom will ever see this and wouldn't get it even if they did.

Proud to be an American

I started this post a few months ago, and got distracted by the "Dabo vs Spurrier" media war.  But it is your lucky night, because I am finally finishing it. I came across this article on the Post and Courier website a few weeks before Christmas, and I absolutely could not resist discussing. Well, obviously I resisted for a little while...

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A student at the University of South Carolina Beaufort was told to remove a Confederate flag from his dorm room window.  Apparently, parents and students did not like seeing it during campus tours.  Like many others, they saw the flag as a symbol of slavery and racism.  Byron Thomas, the student in question, sees it differently:

"When I look at this flag, I don't see racism. I see respect, Southern pride," he said. "This flag was seen as a communication symbol" during the Civil War.

THANK YOU, Byron Thomas! I whole-heartedly agree! The Confederate flag did not represent slavery or racism.  It did not support discrimination or segregation.  Those are some very unfortunate things that happened during this flag's lifetime. However, they did not occur because of the flag and they did not cease when the flag was replaced.  In fact, the Civil Rights Movement - the great American effort to eliminate racism, segregation, and discrimination - did not start until approximately 90 years after the collapse of the Confederate States of America (and its flag).

The Confederate flag is a symbol of Southern pride, traditions, states' rights, and rich history.  I personally do not choose to display this flag on my property or clothing, mainly because I prefer to fly our current flag and everything it represents.  Nonetheless, I find it ridiculous when a proud Southerner is viciously chastised for doing so.  

To me, the most powerful part of Byron Thomas's story is his ethnicity.  He is black.  Yep, black.  It was a class project that encouraged him to research the Confederate flag.  And through his research, Byron realized that "the flag's real meaning has been hijacked."  Byron recognizes that race is still an issue, but he would prefer that people "thoughtfully consider issues of race and not just knee-jerk reactions to such symbols."  Again, I am in complete agreement with Mr. Thomas.  

Spectacular advancements have been made in the way of racial equality, but there are still issues of discrimination and segregation.  I believe many of these issues are prolonged by groups and individuals that insist on bringing "race" into every issue.  For example, should Americans be proud that we have a black president? Yes.  But should it really matter that he is black?  No.  Why is a presidential candidate's ethnic race even mentioned?  What does skin color have to do with a person's ability to lead a country?  Nothing.  After the 2008 election, I was personally told by a young, voting adult that he voted for Barack Obama, "because he's black."  I'm sorry, but that is just not right.  And in my opinion, it is one of the reasons that race is still an on-going issue.  It also proves my theory that racism and discrimination are two-way streets.  If somebody voted for Obama because he is black, then essentially they did not vote for McCain because he is white.  Is that not racism in its truest form?  By constantly including race as a factor, we are refusing to let the problem end.

I especially love Byron's statement about not wanting to be called "African American," as he was not born in Africa and it makes him feel like a half-citizen.  Byron is no more African than I am Polish or Robert De Niro is Italian.  Why do we continue to tip-toe around an issue that is supposed to be resolved?  These "politically correct" distinctions, again, only perpetuate the problem.  Aren't we all just "AMERICAN"?

I know I've gone off on a few tangents here, but I am really interested in this topic.  In fact, the Confederate flag and discrimination have been on my "soap-box" list for a while now.  As a teacher, I can honestly say that I want each of my students (all 700+ of them!) to have the same opportunities for happiness and success.  And I just don't think this is going to be possible if we keep making issues over silly things like 150-year old flags.